Feeling Bad About Yourself? Free Your Mind From Other People’s Expectations | #95
Feeling bad about yourself often has less to do with what you did—and more to do with what others expected from you. In this Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn, Dawn Super explains why you are always doing your best, even when it doesn’t look that way on the outside. This dose is for anyone caught between disappointing others and beating themselves up for having limits.
Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below
Hello, I’m doing my best. This is the Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn, number 95—videos designed to expand your thinking.
This video is for anyone who doesn’t realize they’re always doing their best, even when it looks like they’re slacking off.
Welcome back to the Happy Matters Collective. If you’re new here, thanks for joining us.
Why do we want to learn this? Because people always seem to want more from us than we want—or are able—to give. And it becomes a lose-lose situation. They’re disappointed you can’t do the thing. You feel bad about yourself for not doing the thing. Or you push yourself to do it anyway—and then resent them for making you do it.
So how did this come into my awareness? I used to be a people-pleasing mess. If you are a people pleaser, work on it. Seriously. Make nothing more important than understanding it, developing strategies to overcome it, and then actually using those strategies.
This is the only life you get. There’s no redo. No extra man at ten thousand points.
So what did I do about it? How did I overcome being a people pleaser? The first phrase I brought in to interrupt my old pattern was: don’t be a doormat.
Then I started asking myself a simple question: What happens if I don’t do the thing they want me to do? And I looked at the answers honestly.
There are three lanes:
Either they do nothing.
Or they get upset or have some other negative reaction.
Or they support me because they know my limits.
The people in the middle lane—the ones who react poorly—are the ones you need strategies for. Not to control them, but to manage expectations.
The key is knowing yourself and knowing what you’re capable of in that specific moment. If someone asked you to fly around the room, you’d just laugh. So when someone asks you to do something you know you can’t do, you can laugh in your mind—if laughing out loud would be inappropriate.
No one can make you feel anything. So you have to keep your mind strong enough to hold onto the way you want to feel. That is being on your own side.
Next week is the one hundredth episode of the Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn—yay. I’m doing a special giveaway to celebrate episode 100. Make sure you’re subscribed on YouTube or signed up for delivery so you don’t miss the announcement and can be one of the first hundred to receive the gift.
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