You Can Feel Happy and Sad About Things at the Same Time

For most of my life, feeling two conflicting emotions at once felt like a malfunction, like I had to pick one and be wrong about the other. In this post, I share how metacognition helps me work through that. I get into a real, recent example from my own life: getting sick, missing a few days on a new blog, and feeling the sting of nobody noticing, while still knowing my life is genuinely full and good. Both were true, and here's exactly how I let myself feel both without spiraling.

WATCH HERE or READ below

You CAN hold more than one emotion at a time. I never used to understand that, and it was very confusing for me, and I really feel like it slowed down my personal growth. Four decades of sleep deprivation interfere with my executive functions, which interfere with my emotional regulation, and sprinkle on some trauma from the past and... just thinking about things can be challenging.

They say "Feel your feelings" and "Don't shove down your feelings", but there really is no How to Feel Your Feelings 101 that you can take online and figure out what to do with this sadness. So, today I'm going to talk about how I taught myself and how I teach myself through all of these things using thinking about my thinking to get around it.

Thinking about your thinking, metacognition, thinking about your feelings: taking the emotions out of your feelings and transmuting that pain and squeezing the lesson right out of it so that you don't repeat it. That's where the magic of life lies. And if that sounds like something you want to think about for the next few minutes, welcome in to your Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn videos designed to expand your thinking.

This specific topic is about me being sad about something while also being happy about other things. And I'm going to get really specific about my own personal life here so that you can really get an understanding of exactly how a process like this can look.

Nobody likes rejection, but people with rejection sensitivity have to spend a little more time processing rejection than other people might have to. I was bullied and picked on for seven of my formative years. I didn't really have any friends. I didn't really like myself until I was 35 years old. So, rejection is something that feels natural to me. But that's not a reality. I have a very full, robust life with tons of people who love me and listen to me and invite me places. And it's just the past telling me a story to keep me from stretching, from being more creative, from moving out of my comfort zone.

So, I'm doing this blog, and I got sick last week and I didn't do the blog for a couple of days and nobody noticed. And I was already run down from being sick, and tired from having narcolepsy, and all my other health issues and having rejection sensitivity from the life that I've lived up to this point. I had to hold my own hand and create strategies to comfort myself through these feelings of being rejected. Because it's just old programming whispering in my ear.

My blog is new and I'm not paying for advertising to promote it anywhere and these topics are deep and it's sensitive and people aren't always into that kind of stuff. So, it's here for me first because this is how I heal. This is how I process. This is how I grow as a person and it's here for you if you're listening to this and it's helping you. Because sometimes listening to other people's stories helps us heal ourselves.

So, I keep my feet out of the fire and I feel my feels and I let myself feel sad that it's not bigger and remind myself that it's too young to be rejected about that. And I'm not lying to myself. I'm not deluding myself. I'm living in reality and comforting myself. Because it takes a lot of effort to put this out and when no one sees it, of course that doesn't feel great. And if you just lie to yourself about that or shove those feelings down, then you don't learn anything and you don't grow.

But if you take it out and look at it and feel the feels without beating yourself up about it, then you grow. So just the fact that you're still listening to a personal growth metacognition video means that you're trying, and you can give yourself credit for that.

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