How 50 First Dates Taught Me To Creatively Manage Narcolepsy - And How You Can Use It Too 🌞

No one would choose to get a debilitating disease. But once you have one, getting creative about managing it isn't just an option — it's survival. In Daily Dose of Dawn #221, resilience coach Dawn Super shares how a 2004 romantic comedy gave her coping strategies for narcolepsy type one that she went on to apply with dementia patients, her Positively Narcolepsy Facebook community, and her one-on-one coaching clients. From "it was just a dream" notes to a framed letter that restored her Uncle Jules' dignity every single morning, these are real, specific, field-tested tools for anyone managing chronic illness, brain fog, memory issues, or a nervous system that needs a little extra support.

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No one would choose to get a debilitating disease, but once you have one, it's okay to get creative about managing it. Today's dose is for a very specific person who is living a very challenging life.

A romantic comedy that I watched in 2004 gave me some creative ways to manage my own debilitating brain disease — which is narcolepsy type one. I went on to help other people cope with their difficulties, including a family member I took care of with dementia, other individuals in my Positively Narcolepsy group on Facebook, and my one-on-one clients in my resilience coaching.

I've been living with a multitude of disabling issues for a number of decades and I have found some creative ways to deal with them. And if that's something you'd like to think about for a few minutes, welcome in to your daily dose of Dawn at Dawn — videos designed to expand your thinking.

Thinking about your thinking is a great way to accelerate your personal growth, to change your neural pathways and think differently. This is called metacognition and I call it surviving Tuesday.

Specifically today, I'm talking about a lovely romantic comedy — 50 First Dates. It's from the year 2004 and starred Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. This recently came up in my memories and after I had a sweet little cry about it, I regulated my nervous system and decided to make notes so that I could do a dose about it.

You wouldn't think that a simple romantic comedy would give you an idea that would help you cope with your life, but here we are.

I'll get a little bit more specific at the end, but in the beginning, here is some general information about the way that this movie influenced my life.

So it takes place in Hawaii — and I was born on Hawaii. Lucy, the main character, had a terrible car accident and she's living a sort of groundhog day now where every day she wakes up and has forgotten everything up to the day before the accident. Adam Sandler has a wonderful day with her and they end up together. She wakes up in the morning and has no idea who he is, so she freaks out about a man being in her bed — rightfully so. Then Lucy's story is revealed and Sandler goes on a mission to get through her issue so that she will remember him the next day.

It's a romantic comedy, so none of this is real, but what I saw was a family getting creative about helping Lucy cope with this fictional brain disease that she had. Just to clarify — I meant the movie wasn't real. There are definitely people who have memory issues that have to get creative with managing them, and that's also going to be included later in my video.

Some people have supportive families, and I'm sure that makes managing chronic illness a lot easier. If you grew up without a supportive family or you're living without a supportive family now, you're going to need to learn to give certain things to yourself to help you fill that gap. So that you can find the strength that you get from having support — even if you're by yourself. It's why I wrote my book.

Seeing good things happen for Lucy, even in a fictional movie, gave me hope that I would eventually see good things happen for me too. And I did after that point. So always keep encouraging yourself through your challenges. It's never toxic positivity to encourage yourself.

Inevitably, Sandler made a video that Lucy could play in the morning — like a little commercial about her life and what was happening and what to expect when she got out of bed. It gave her some nervous system regulation since the accident happened a long time ago and in her mind no time has passed.

I definitely got very emotional watching the movie.

One of the ways that I took from the movie to help myself was to write myself a note: "It was just a dream."

Living with narcolepsy can be straight up terrifying. No joke. The dreams are so realistic. No matter what's happening, you feel like it's really happening to you. When you come out of it, your body may still be physically reacting — sweating and shaking and heart racing and even stomach involvement. Thanks to that movie, it inspired me to create an environment that supported me through that difficult experience which happened on the regular. Not only the comforting note, but I head straight into self-soothing mode and watch something funny or interesting to push what I just experienced out of my head — because none of it was real and I don't need to take it forward.

A long time ago, I took care of an elderly relative. He was 91 when he moved in and he was experiencing dementia. Every day he would ask me the same questions over and over and over again. I couldn't work the videotape idea with him because he wasn't quite technically savvy, but I was able to use marker and write very large — a "Dear Uncle Jules" that answered all of his most pertinent questions, which were primarily how he got there and who he was with and why he was with us and what he should be doing next.

Sometimes in the morning, I would pass by his room and see him sitting on the bed holding the framed letter. And I never interrupted him. I let him read it from beginning to end, which concluded with: "When you're ready, use the washroom and join us in the kitchen for coffee and breakfast."

We very quickly went from an aggravated, confused old man wandering around in his underwear to a grateful elderly gentleman — fully dressed and coming out looking for some coffee.

And what's super great about both of those things is that it let both of us keep our dignity.

I used to have a really bad temper and I started actively working on it and created tools to help myself achieve that. One of those was repeating to myself the phrase "have a nice steamy mug of STFU."

I go into helping myself overcome anger issues in some of my other videos. So if that's something that you're dealing with, take a look around.

Essentially, thanks to decades of sleep deprivation plus having the inability to regulate my emotions at that time, when I woke up I felt like a rusty bag of nails. And if you bump me the wrong way, you might get tetanus. That's no way to live. And it does not make for good companionship either. So I knew I had to get on top of it.

One of the ways that I did was reminding myself that thanks to the sleep deprivation, it takes a while for my dopamine to come online. So if you're dealing with sleep deprivation, extended pain, or something else that affects your dopamine, take a look at the first hour of your day and really see what it looks like. Compare the first hour of your day to the second hour of your day and see where you can support your dopamine production through that time period.

You don't need dementia to have memory issues. It comes with a lot of chronic illnesses and it's really good to support yourself through that by writing good notes. And don't just write down your to-do list — also write down a things-you-did list so that you can be proud of yourself. And don't just journal about your struggles — also journal about your wins so that you can remember that the wins do happen.

Use a notebook to track your symptoms to go deeper — to find out if eating chocolate really does give you nightmares. Side note, I had to give up anything scary. Even seeing zombies in my Facebook feed would have me wrangling them all night. I have total god powers once I go lucid, but I can waste a lot of time before that happens sometimes. And missing sleep because your dreams are hard means you're going to have a harder time the next day.

The movie 50 First Dates also encouraged me to find ways to bring more fun into my life. I recently bought a little fake olive tree and I've been feeding a flock of finches in my yard — they make quite a mess with the little sunflower seed shells and I've been making little art things as I sweep it up. I'm also working on correcting my posture and dealing with myofascial pain syndrome, so sometimes I'm very uncomfortable while I do it. Balancing that fun with sciatic helps.

The character Lucy in 50 First Dates had a strong dad and brother and people in her community that really cared about her a lot. And while it can be challenging to get out of the house to make friends of that depth, you can still socialize virtually and those friendships can be very deep also. And thanks to COVID, it's very normal to have coffee on video together.

Lastly, it inspired me to remember not to close myself off to love — because no matter what you have going on, it won't be too much for the right person.

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