When Forgiveness Feels Impossible (A Way to Let Go) Neurospicy Friendly | #104

Forgiveness is often presented as the only path to freedom—but what if it feels impossible? In this Daily Dose, Dawn Super explores an alternative way to let go without forcing forgiveness, absolution, or access. This episode is for anyone struggling with unforgivable harm, emotional boundaries, and the pressure to forgive before they’re ready. It offers a grounded, self-honoring approach to emotional freedom that keeps you firmly on your own side.

Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below

What if forgiveness seems impossible to you?

This video is for anyone having a hard time forgiving someone and feels like they need to forgive someone or they can't go forward or doesn't feel the person deserves forgiveness.

This is the daily dose of Dawn at dawn, number 104. videos designed to expand your thinking.

And so why do we want to learn this? We hear it all the time. Forgive them for you, not for them. Forgive them so that you can move on. So that you are free. So does that mean if you can't forgive that you'll never be free? No, it doesn't. And I'll tell you why.

Welcome back to my Happy Matters Collective. If you're new here, thanks for joining us.

So, how did this come into my awareness? I've had people do some unforgivable things to me. And I was one of those people who heard "forgive them for you" and thought screw that. like would you forgive Hitler, Ted Bundy? It seems crazy to put that on someone, right?

I'm a very literal person and people who are still trying to hurt you and you're being told to forgive them? People who are doing horrible things on purpose? Like the thought of me even thinking 'I forgive you' about someone like that makes me want to legit barf.

So what did I do about it? Take it down to my 'feel your feels but keep your feet out of the fire.' Like if I literally feel sick to my stomach just at the thought of forgiving someone, how do I get around that?

To me, forgiveness equals absolution equals access.

My friend did something really messed up, but they acknowledged it. They apologized. They said they knew how to handle it differently next time. Great. Done. You're forgiven.

If my friend did something messed up and then doubled down, came at me, made it my problem, that's not normal behavior.

Sometimes people act out of character, and sometimes that just is their character.

So, let's go back and look at Hitler, Ted Bundy, and William Shrubsall.

Who's that last guy? Well, he was the validictorian of my senior class and he killed his mom the night before we graduated and he's now in the Wikipedia for doing even more bad stuff.

Each of these men had clinical mind issues. No way my mind would let me absolve them of those heinous things that they did.

So I had to find another way and I did.

If forgiveness works for you, great. This method is for people who would rather rip out their own eyeballs than say I forgive you to someone that they don't feel deserves it.

I've shared this concept with many people and each time their head turns a little to the side as they take it in. So I want you to pay close attention to this next part.

It's much easier to look at Hitler and say that guy was a man megalomaniac, right? Everything he did is through that lens. Period. It's easy to understand, right?

The word forgive comes from Greek letting go.

So, how can we achieve letting go without feeling like we're absolving someone?

11 years ago, someone did something that led to one of my kids not wanting to have a relationship with me.

Of all the things I've had to endure in this lifetime, this was the hardest.

I completely forgive my kid. I know what it's like to be a confused teen.

The other person, however, not so much. This was a grown person who knew what they were doing, and they've not done anything to attempt to rectify the outcome of their actions in the 11 years since. Unforgivable to me. period.

But but it can't be the end, right? Because if I don't let it go, then it owns me.

Every feeling I've ever had came from inside of me. So, how can I let it go?

Well, it took me several years actually. And once I knew the trajectory was not changing, then acceptance settled in and I had to find a new way to be.

So if you'd rather chew broken glass than even consider saying the words 'I forgive them,' then take a look at understanding.

In this instance, the person responsible never did the work. the kind of work that you're doing right now by listening to these kind of videos or reading if you're reading the transcript.

It's the work that frees you by helping you know yourself deeply to get on your own side and keep yourself there.

Like it takes a lot to change when something in your past has screwed things up.

Sometimes people just don't have the capacity to hold their own pain without trying to inflict it on someone else.

You don't need to forgive anyone to understand that we're all doing the best we can with what we have to work with.

just to just be able to see them as someone who never got there.

You don't need to absolve anyone of anything. Just see them as a human being who made a bad choice.

You don't need to tell them - just tell you.

if it works, it works. If it doesn't work, you can try something else.

Just stay on your own side while you do.

And if the thought of forgiving anyone makes you feel like you're on fire, find another way to let go.

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Wanna go deeper? Check this one out:

Go through How To Be On Your Own Side with Dawn!

Coming soon!

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