3 Areas of Improvement That Made My Long Commute Feel Like Self-Care Instead of Suffering

I just wrapped a gig that had me driving over an hour each day. I didn't notice at first, but the longer the commute went on the harder things got. In this post, I break down the three specific changes that turned my daily drive from something I dreaded into actual self-care: how I use my map app for more than directions, how I set up my car for physical comfort, and the phrases and tricks I use to regulate my emotions when traffic tests my patience.

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Is your commute taking up more than just your gas? You're driving more than an hour, each way, on major freeways, and... it's kicking your ass. I mean, over an hour a day is 5 hours a week, and that's a lot of your life.

I just completed a temporary gig on location. The combo of the drive and the unreal heat that we're all facing was taking me out. I had to stop and ask, "Can I make this better for myself?" I mean, you only get one life, and you deserve to live it with as much comfort, peace, and happiness as possible.

Today, I've got three areas you can improve about your commute that will help you reduce your stress, alleviate anxiety, and just help you be more comfortable. If those sound like life goals to you, welcome in to your Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn, videos designed to get you On Your Own Side.

First, how do we get here, overdone on our commute? Because being on your own side doesn't always happen instinctually. Okay, so for me, I ended up like a frog in a pot. Life started wearing me down a little more than the day before. And the end of the day started coming sooner than I wanted it to. I was trudging along, until it's only Wednesday and you're already feeling like The Walking Dead.

So, life keeps lifing, and weekend self-care is a joke with no punchline, and then Monday kicks you in the face... well before you're ready.

As a resilience coach, I teach my clients how asking yourself one simple question can often be the catalyst to real change. Is this On My Own Side? And maybe you think you've thought of everything already. Until I got serious about making things better, I assumed I had also. I went from, "This sucks" to, "I got this" with three distinct additions that made all the difference and I want you to have this ease, too.

So, when you hear these suggestions, you might think, "Oh, that's new." Or, "I never thought about it that way before." If so, comment which ones resonate the most because I'd love to hear.

All right, so getting to the meat and the potatoes. The number one thing that helps me, and this might seem silly for you, but ongoing copilot support from a Map app program. And I'm not here to recommend any particular Map program for you, you can find your favorite. Because sure, you've driven the road a thousand times and you can hit the curves with your eyes closed probably, but a Map program can help you see some things very clearly no matter where you are. And that helps keep your nervous system regulated.

So it'll tell you what time you'll arrive. Obviously, your arrival time changes with traffic conditions. So knowing this at a glance without having to do math is regulating. Knowing what the speed limit on the road you're on is. This is especially good if there's construction in your area because fines are usually doubled.

Another thing that helps me a lot is lane closures ahead, or there's an object on the road ahead, and it even says there are police reported nearby. And those are all helpful shoutouts from your copilot. And, several times, I've been given the heads up about an object that turned out to be a retread sitting in the middle of the lane. They look so innocent, these pieces of tire that come off the big rigs. They're not.

Once I was driving across country and a semi blew a retread and it literally seared off the quarter panel of my Fiero. And then it got caught under the tire and sent me into the median and almost head-on into freeway traffic. It was truly terrifying. So, avoid anything in the middle of the road. And, I was fine so we'll go on to the next thing.

My favorite feature in the Map program, hands down, is the rerouting. I used to have massive driving anxiety. And I'm Gen X. I've traveled across the country using like 14 maps from AAA. But now I never worry.

Last week, I'm at the freeway exchange where I was supposed to jump on the I-5 freeway and the ramp was closed. So, I had to go on the 210 freeway that I don't remember ever being on before. I had no clue where it would take me. But I didn't have any anxiety because the Map program knew. And within seconds, it had rerouted and I could tell where I was supposed to go. And the only difference was I was going to be 10 minutes later than I originally was supposed to be.

Another real benefit for me is automatic behavior. Sometimes my brain thinks I'm going to one place when I'm actually going to another. And I'll hear that, "You're exiting the freeway in two miles." and I'll be like, "Oh yeah, okay. This is where we're going today." So that really helps as well.

Number two on my list is setting up my car for maximum comfort. Always have plenty of gas. This saves stress on top of everything else. Never save getting gas for in the morning.

Having a pillow for my back. I like to shove a pillow in the small of my back and it helps me with my posture while I'm driving. I put a wrap around my seat belt when I'm wearing like an open shirt and my belt starts to irritate my skin.

I have sunglasses always in my car and I never thought of sunglasses as self-care until I had to commute on the 118. I was going in early and as soon as you get on the on-ramp, the sun is straight in your eyes. And the sun shade won't block it and it reflects off the road making even just staying inside the lanes harder to see. And if you don't have a way to safely see the road, you're not safe.

My beloved hat, of course. If you don't like the window open or if you don't have hair [laughter], this won't matter. But my hair literally is a wild animal. And if I don't restrain it, I'm not safe.

Having a drink or several drinks with you. Outside of staying hydrated, which is absolutely self-care, I found a way to help myself cool down and have a sweet treat by bringing a frozen fruit smoothie with me to work and then drinking it on the way home when the car thermometer says 106°.

Oh, shoes. The gig that I was working had me in steel toed boots. Gosh, I eventually realized I could bring some flip-flops with me. And then I'd pull my jeans up over my knees and put the floor AC on to help me cool down from the heat of the warehouse that I had just spent several hours in.

Massaging and stretching. I have rocks in my car and this one is flat and it has good trigger point massage so I can do my neck while I'm driving or even my trigger points in my chest or in my arms if I'm having like a flare from holding my steering wheel. I can use this to help alleviate that pain.

Using my leg to hold the steering wheel in place. I watched a video years ago about how much weight it puts on your neck to hold your arms out and hold your steering wheel with no support for your elbows. And when you're in the car for 30 minutes or more, especially if you have tender trigger points like me, the weight can really add up and it puts like little hot rocks in my arm. So, I'm holding the wheel in place with my thigh and my hand is also here, you know, holding the wheel, but lower so that I can rest my elbows and not have that same weight pulling on my neck.

I always keep a blanket or a sweater in my car in case the weather changes. I really love to keep my windows open when I'm driving. I love the breeze. It feels good. And to me, driving as fast as I can with the windows open feels a lot like flying while sitting down, which I can totally do in my dreams. I'm a lucid dreamer. And I can kick up my legs and float and and like hover like a craft, like I am a actual meat suit pilot.

Having something to do. I like to listen to YouTube videos while I'm driving. Whether I want to be encouraged or learn something or just be entertained. It makes good use of the time. You used to listen to the radio. It's no different. And you have to be in your car anyway, so you might as well learn something or help you keep your mood up so that when you get where you're going, you still feel great.

Using a sunshade when you park is very underrated. Like cars heat up so fast and if you make your environment as comfortable as possible, you will feel better. I mean, you're the main character of your story and you deserve nice things.

Okay, this brings us to the third area: emotional regulation. And, this is for YOU. I used to think calming down was to please others, but now I completely understand that it is medicine, especially if you have an autoimmune disease or two like me. When you're in a mood or in fight-flight, your immune system goes on pause to deal with the crisis. If you've been living with back-to-back crises, this can be a lot harder to turn off. So, the most important thing to me is that I notice.

Here are some of the silly and serious ways that I lead myself with love while driving on the freeway or for a long distance.

I use phrases that help me dispel any frustration that I might be holding on to. I say things like, "Everything happens for my benefit." Or, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it." And both of those give me the capacity to handle whatever it is. If I'm stuck in a slowdown, I'm going to assume it's keeping me from running into something I really didn't want to run into anyway.

Having good road etiquette. Let people in. "Come on, friend. I got room for you!" It helps you so much to think about the people around you as "in it with you" rather than adversaries.

Back off from sketchy drivers. If someone's doing anything that makes you raise your eyebrows, just back off a little bit and let them go ahead with their bad selves. You can hang out in the back where the air is less toxic.

I have two silly songs that I sing to help me vent out my frustration while also cracking myself up to help me keep my nervous system regulated. So, one of the things is I sing "Keeper of the time! Why do you get to decide, how fast everybody can ride?" And of course I sing it more like.. aloud and silly than I will right now.

Another one is, there's a song by Calum Scott called You Are The Reason, and I'll sing "You are the reason that traffic jams exist. It's you. It's all your fault." And it just helps me get out my frustration that these people are holding everybody up.

Show up for you. Lead yourself with love. Because if you say it's okay, guess what? It's okay.

Thank you for being here. If you found value in this, make sure you're subscribed and ring the bell. And if you want to make sure you don't miss an episode, sign up for delivery at DailyDoseOfDawn.com where you can also copy down all of these things we just discussed. And no matter what you do today, do it from your own side.

I have a five week program coming up that's going to help you learn to let go and then to also build yourself up.

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