The Mantra That Helps Me Through The Tough Times

Nine diagnosed disorders. Five months of aggressive dermatitis so severe it got a blog post flagged for "shocking content." Decades of stretches where I didn't know if things would ever look different. In this post, I share the phrase that's carried me through all of it, why choosing hope isn't the same as toxic positivity, and how learning to be your own support system changes what you can survive.

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It won't always be like this. Hang in there. This video is for anyone stuck in the suck of chronic illness, extended stress, or major life transition. This is the Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn, videos designed to expand your thinking.

So, why do we want to think about this? Because life is going to life, and the more tools you have to hold your own hand when the tsunami comes, the better you fare.

"It won't always be like" this has become a mantra for me. I've had many experiences where I've gone through extended flares with health issues, extended stressful relationships with people I couldn't remove myself from for extended periods of time. And having to live inside of that while not losing your mind, and not beating yourself up, and not giving up, requires you holding your own hand through the experience.

And me telling myself "It won't always be like this is a helper thing. It helps me through it. Because when you're four decades sleep-deprived and you're stuck in the suck, it can be easy to feel like it will always be this way.

I went to a tiny little school and there were only 14 kids in my class and none of them liked me. And I was stuck in there from a first grade through seventh grade with these kids who didn't like me. And then I went on to a different school and a different state and a different experience and I made friends. But you could not have told 8-year-old me, "Hey, hang in there for six more years [laughter] and then everything will be better." That doesn't help. But, "It won't always be like this. Hang in there." It gives more hope.

It's very important with all the talk of toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing that you never let yourself give up your hope. I've had a lot of people misunderstand happy matters to be only happy matters, or happy matters no matter what. And that's not what it is.

The whole thing with happy matters - my little magnet here. If you sign up for my Daily Dose, get it delivered to you weekdays, email or text, you get one of these free in the mail. I make them myself. They're really cute.

So, here's the thing. If happiness is a choice, why don't we choose it? It's because we forget that we can. And we feel guilty if we do when things are hard. And we feel like we don't have the right to be happy if things suck. But we do. And remembering that happy matters, it matters. It makes a difference. It helps you hold your hand through the hard stuff. And finding it along with the hard stuff is how you dig your way out of a hole.

When one of my kids had a hard time in middle school, I reassured him that things would be different in high school - it would bring new opportunities to him. And when one of them struggled in high school, I reassured them that one day high school is just going to be a memory. And that, unless it was intentional, they're probably not going to see the people that they went to school with ever again. We live in a really big place just outside LA. And unless you're intentionally trying to connect with someone, you're not going to see them.

I never really had anyone in my corner cheering me on through decades of extended sleep deprivation. I've had to be my own cheerleader. And all of these little tricks that I teach people came about because I didn't have anyone to lean on like that. I had to teach myself how to lean on me. It's why I published How to Be On Your Own Side.

During illnesses, breakups, tough economic times, unexpected stressful situations, or even just trying to deal with my everyday symptoms from my nine diagnosed disorders [laughter], I gently remind myself it won't always be exactly like it is right this second.

I have some discoloration here on my arm. You can't really see it. It's kind of like freckle-y. It looks like freckle-y. In 2018, 2019, I had an aggressive contact dermatitis that made it look like my skin was deep fried. Like, it was really bad. It was so bad that Google turned off ads on the blog post with the photos for "shocking content". And it went on like this for five months where I would take the the steroids, the prednisone, and it would go back, and then I would run out of the prednisone and it would come back again. And I really did not know if I was going to spend the rest of my life disfigured like that.

Holding my own hand through the experience, being on my own side, reassuring myself that no matter what happens, I'm going to find my way through it - I have so far and I will to come. Having that helps you fare better through no matter what you're going through.

So, if things are hard right now, remember: "It won't always be like this. Hang in there."

I have a five week program coming up that's going to help you learn to let go and then to also build yourself up.

Click the link below to get on the waitlist and receive an early bird discount when registration opens. https://dawnsuper.com/freeyourself

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