Real Self-Soothing Strategies That Actually Work from Dawn's Personal Toolkit | #186

Self-soothing sounds simple until you actually need to do it and have no idea where to start. In Daily Dose of Dawn #186, resilience coach Dawn Super shares the specific, real-life strategies she uses to comfort herself while managing nine diagnosed disabling disorders — from how she sets up her living space to music as an emotional regulator to the princess-and-the-pea mattress situation. Put these through your own YOU filter and take what works. And if you've already got your toolkit sorted, share this with someone who's still building theirs.

Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below

Today I'm talking about self soothing. So if you're living in a meatsuit that likes to give you a hard time. If you're struggling along with some particularly challenging circumstances and you're looking for some ways to feel better, welcome in to your daily dose of Dawn at Dawn — videos designed to expand your thinking.

In several other doses, I've talked about how self soothing is a skill. And I've been very happy to see some of my viewers implementing the self soothing techniques in their own way to help them through a challenging day. I'm living a very challenging life. I make it look easy, but nine diagnosed disabling disorders — there's always something going on that I need to be dealing with. And as a resilience coach, I have found that comforting myself helps me probably more than anything else.

So today I'm just going to share with you some of my self soothing strategies and you can put them through the YOU filter and see how you can apply them in your own life to help you along on your journey. If self soothing is something you already know how to do, consider sharing this video with a friend of yours that might be struggling.

Time. When I'm done in, I have to take time from where it is available to me. In case you didn't notice, I've been missing some of these doses. It's because I've been taking care of myself. I needed to do that. Going to bed early, getting extra rest, not overbooking myself, and going to the beach. That's definitely something that I make time for because it gives me more go juice.

My self talk is always filled with grace. Even if old me might have felt like I didn't deserve it. Whatever it is, it happened. You can't go back in time and change it. So radically accept it and deal with it from there.

Self-care is something that took me a really long time to learn and understand. When I was younger, my mom would complain about my father saying his phrase was "after me, you come first." This sort of warped into a limiting belief of mine and it took me a long time to undo it because it wasn't really a sensible belief. It was confusing because it was bad for dad to put himself first and then take care of everyone else. But it was okay for mom to do it. Now I completely understand — if you don't take care of yourself first, there's not going to be a you to take care of anyone else.

Some really simple ways I soothe myself are by keeping my living space inviting. Being a minimalist, I don't have a lot of stuff everywhere. My house is very easy to tidy up and make presentable at any time. I keep magic erasers in the bathrooms and make things easy to clean up quickly. There's a lot of sunlight in my house. I have a sign in my garage that welcomes me home. I have a bear reading a book when I open the door. And just the whimsy makes me happy. And happy is medicine.

Isolation is also a big part of my self soothing routine. And not because I'm a Pisces and I need to recharge or anything like that. It's more — when I need comfort and the people around me aren't there to deliver it, my friends, roommates, co-workers — I excuse myself from small talk and forced interactions and just recharge by myself and then I can come back and be a better friend, roommate, co-worker, etc.

Friendships absolutely can be soothing but this is all about self soothing today.

I have a lot of comfort items in my life. My fashion is also functional. My hat holds my hair in place exactly where I want it so it doesn't ever get in my eyes and it sort of hugs my head in a way that feels really good. And because of the narcolepsy, when I get sleepy, heat escapes my body and the hat helps me keep myself warm.

I got compression socks for my POTS and in addition to being cute — I get complimented on them a lot — they're also like a hug for your legs and I find that very comforting.

I'm always wrapped up in a blanket when I'm at home rather than a sweater. I prefer to have a blanket right on my skin and I think that feels better. And when you are comforted, when your skin is comforted, it helps relax your nervous system and that helps lead to healing. And when I say healing, I don't mean you're going to heal yourself by wrapping yourself in a blanket. I just mean it keeps you in a state where you're not getting worse because you're uncomfortable.

Soft socks, comfortable shoes. I have two mattresses. I have a platform bed with two mattresses on it. I call it my princess-and-the-pea mattress. It's very high and very comfortable.

And I comfort myself with food — chocolate, coffee, sweet treats. Everything in moderation, of course. I'm not denying myself, but I'm not overindulging either.

Music. Music is my big-time emotional regulator. Last week my neighbor got a puppy and the puppy was whining all day and I was able to keep my nervous system regulated by playing music in my headphones so that I didn't hear the whining and just soothed myself through it instead of getting mad about it. When I have low energy, I'll play music that will help keep my mood up and that often helps bring my energy up. When I'm having intrusive thoughts or having trouble focusing, music helps distract me. I will sing and it's not possible to think about something else while you're actively singing something.

Touch is one of my love languages and definitely is something I find very comforting. And when you're by yourself, you don't get to experience touch as much. But I like to wrap myself in my blanket and swing in my swing and that feels sort of like I'm being held by someone and I find that very comforting.

Someone mentioned in a video about putting your hand on your solar plexus and it feels like a hug and I do find it very comforting. Sometimes when I'm walking at the beach, I'll just walk with my hand on my chest like this and strangely it helps me feel less alone. I don't know why. You just got to try whatever — even if it seems silly, if it gives you relief, if it helps you, do it anyway.

Hugging yourself, rubbing your arms. I give myself foot massages all the time. I find that very comforting. I have a wooden roller thing I use on my head and on my jaw and on my neck and I find that very comforting. It's helped me bring down the pain in my head quite a bit actually.

Maybe you picked up something new here today. If you did, I'd love to hear it in the comments. You can reply on the blog or comment on the YouTube video and let me know. And if you have something you want to add for the other viewers who are learning to self soothe, please put it in the comments.

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