Controlling your temperature #64 Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn

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Controlling your temperature #64 Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn (feeling bad, emotional regulation)

Today I'm talking about getting triggered. And as a former dumpster fire rolling downhill, I have a lot of experience in getting triggered.

I was raised by an angry person and became an angry person myself. Add in decades of sleep deprivation, and it's very difficult to regulate your emotions when you're sleep deprived. So, 50 million Americans are sleep deprived right now. Maybe you're one of them. If you get triggered, this video is for you.

I'm going to try and do a couple reframes for you in this dose. And if you already knew these things, good for you, cuz not everybody does.

Getting triggered is an opportunity for you to practice what you do when you get triggered. If you reframe it that way, it becomes a lot less like, “Oh god, not this again,” and more like, “Oh yeah, what am I supposed to be doing?”

You can teach yourself to use the four stages of learning to regulate your emotions. And I didn't know this was even a thing you could do before I tried to do it. So listen to what I say, put it through the YOU filter, and if you want to learn how to not get triggered, keep listening.

The two biggest reasons why you want to do this are: when you feel better about yourself, you feel better inside yourself. And second, relationships are important. If you're getting triggered and you're having the other person do emotional labor for you, that does not deepen connections.

Being mad or resentful, having a punitive attitude, “make them pay,” that eats you up. You can cool yourself down once and for all. After you practice this successfully long enough, emotional regulation becomes a lot easier.

I was angry for decades of my life. Like hair-trigger, flash-in-the-pan angry. And when I got angry, I wanted everyone else to feel it. And it's really not good for you. And I turned it all around. I don't do that anymore. And I did that by noticing what made me angry, practicing what I could do to change, identifying some strategies of how I could change the outcome… and practice, practice, practice, practice, practice.

And if anger is a problem for you, I have like 200 videos on this channel. Dig into you. You're the only one who can do something about it.

When your brain isn't an episode of Storage Wars, it's a lot easier to notice you've been triggered, and a lot easier to find the presence of mind to calm yourself down… to look at your feelings. Why has this triggered me? What does this remind me of? How can I interrupt this next time?

This is why clearing your mind is so important. And because of narcolepsy, I couldn't meditate. So I had to find different ways to clear my mind without meditation. And I succeeded. And I have a couple hour-long videos that go through how I did it.

So if you're an overthinker, if you have a thousand tabs open at the same time, if you replay conversations over and over again… bump clearing your mind to the top of your list because it will serve you for the rest of your life.

Then expect to get a lot of opportunities to practice. Life will test you. Pass, and you aren’t bothered by the thing anymore. Still bothered? Life says, “Okay, you must need more practice.”

If you want to go deeper into anger, there's a video in the comments: Five Rules for Arguing with Narcolepsy. You don’t need to have narcolepsy to benefit from these practical and proven tools. It's ideal for anyone with a temper they want to tame.

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