Your parents are just people | #56
Your parents are just people | #56 Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn š
Many people carry wounds from the childhood they didnāt get. In Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn #56, Dawn Super explores generational trauma, parenting, and the powerful moment when responsibility replaces blame. This post reflects on how trauma is passed down, how it can stop with you, and why understanding your parents as peopleānot villainsācan be deeply freeing. Youāll learn how self-soothing, self-parenting, and choosing to be on your own side allows healing to happen now, even if it didnāt happen then.
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Your parents are just people ā Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn #56
Todayās dose is for people who did not have the upbringing they wish they had but will benefit anyone who hasnāt made this realization yet.
Have you heard the term generational trauma? Itās when the trauma continues on through the next generation. I had this on both sides. I remember when my kids were babies, my grandfather came for a visit and he said to me, āLet the sickness end with you.ā
He didnāt elaborate so I could have chosen from any number of icky things streaming down from one side of my family tree or another.
I collected coupons when I had littles, trying to save every penny. It was more than a hobby; it was like a side hustle. Iād even get things free and donate them to a local DV shelter.
One day when my child was 2, they picked up my coupon caddy, which was so expansive it was in an index card box, and flung it into the airā¦ hours worth of work flittering to the ground. I went to grab their shoulders, to shake them, to make them see they did a bad thing to mommy and as my hands got closer to their tiny little arms, my grandfatherās words echoed in my mindā¦ let the sickness end with you.
In that one moment, I understood how child abuse happens. I vowed that I would never lay a hand on my kids. Because, I knew I came from a long line of people that did not know how to stop themselves. I decided to end that trauma in my lineage.
Just like everyone else in the world, both of my parents did the best they can with what they had to work with at the time. I saw their childhoods and how they led to the choices they made as adults. How the things that happened to them shaped the way they felt about themselves and ā¦ how it affected their parenting skills.
My parents, your parents, all parentsā¦ theyāre just people. If they didnāt do the job you wish they had ā you can do that for yourself now.
So many things about the way I turned out were just responses. Once I learned how to soothe myselfā¦ to hold my own hand through them ā as a loving parent would ā I started to make progress.
Learn & Grow. Every day. I share all these lessons Iāve learned but Iām far from done. I am a permanent student of life ā always seeking to understand how the choices I make affect the moves I take and I decide to be on my own sideā¦ and that makes my life poetry. Despite being miserable for my first 41 years š
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