Dose 56 LEARN & GROW
Your parents are just people – Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn #56
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Your parents are just people – Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn #56
Today’s dose is for people who did not have the upbringing they wish they had but will benefit anyone who hasn’t made this realization yet.
Have you heard the term generational trauma? It’s when the trauma continues on through the next generation. I had this on both sides. I remember when my kids were babies, my grandfather came for a visit and he said to me, “Let the sickness end with you.”
He didn’t elaborate so I could have chosen from any number of icky things streaming down from one side of my family tree or another.
I collected coupons when I had littles, trying to save every penny. It was more than a hobby; it was like a side hustle. I’d even get things free and donate them to a local DV shelter.
One day when my child was 2, they picked up my coupon caddy, which was so expansive it was in an index card box, and flung it into the air… hours worth of work flittering to the ground. I went to grab their shoulders, to shake them, to make them see they did a bad thing to mommy and as my hands got closer to their tiny little arms, my grandfather’s words echoed in my mind… let the sickness end with you.
In that one moment, I understood how child abuse happens. I vowed that I would never lay a hand on my kids. Because, I knew I came from a long line of people that did not know how to stop themselves. I decided to end that trauma in my lineage.
Just like everyone else in the world, both of my parents did the best they can with what they had to work with at the time. I saw their childhoods and how they led to the choices they made as adults. How the things that happened to them shaped the way they felt about themselves and … how it affected their parenting skills.
My parents, your parents, all parents… they’re just people. If they didn’t do the job you wish they had – you can do that for yourself now.
So many things about the way I turned out were just responses. Once I learned how to soothe myself… to hold my own hand through them – as a loving parent would – I started to make progress.
Learn & Grow. Every day. I share all these lessons I’ve learned but I’m far from done. I am a permanent student of life – always seeking to understand how the choices I make affect the moves I take and I decide to be on my own side… and that makes my life poetry. Despite being miserable for my first 41 years 😉
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