Dose 43 Learn & Grow
What does it even mean to “Be authentic?” Daily Dose of Dawn #43
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Listening to some marketing videos, I heard two very famous marketers give two different definitions of authenticity – that differ from my own.
I’ll be honest, I was like… what?? lol. If you’re like me, you believe definitions matter. People are already harder on themselves than they need to be. When you feel like you’re falling short because of someone else’s definition – it affects you, inside your body.
In an earlier Dose I mentioned about how your definition of thriving can keep you from believing you can thrive – that’s what happened to me!
This is so important in getting and staying on your own side that Defining Your Authenticity is Chapter Nine in my book How to Be On Your Own Side.
First let’s look at the actual definition: Being authentic is being genuine, true to your personality, values and spirit, regardless of external pressures or influences. You’re honest and open while acting in alignment with your beliefs and values, and acting with integrity.
Is that how you see it?
Seth Godin, in an interview said, “You don’t want people to be authentic. If your waitress is authentically in a bad mood – you don’t want her serving you an angry breakfast.”
Chris Do says, “The you in your gray sweat pants eating Cheetos on the sofa is your authentic self.”
People who’ve lived through challenging circumstances, often feel very deeply, wanting to be ourselves, maybe struggling with social awkwardness – these definitions can be confusing which makes it a lot harder to even come to define what authenticity means to you.
I’ve seen with my clients and even in social media posts that some people find your authentic self to be rude. Looking back at my Changing the Subject Dose, you have to find that delicate balance so that you can be authentic and still be someone you’d want to hang around with.
So how do you do that? For me, I got a ton of guidance from the Rotary Club’s 4-Way Test of the things we think, say and do.
Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Is it beneficial to all concerned?
Sometimes the truth is real - but it’s not necessarily fair, and it might not build goodwill, and that definitely won’t be beneficial.
What does that look like in real life? My authentic self wants to lead herself with love. I want to act with love towards others as much as possible. So, when I get to an uncomfortable truth, that is not going to benefit the relationship between me and the person I’m talking to – my authentic self chooses the relationship over being right.
Can you feel the difference in that perspective shift?
The you that holds back your anger because the person you’re in front of doesn’t deserve it…
The you that holds your values whether you’re in a dress or in gray sweatpants eating Cheetos…
The you that changes the subject when the conversation goes South – that’s your authentic self…
Authenticity isn’t the raw version of you. It’s the chosen version of you. It’s deciding… who do you want to be when it’s your turn to show up?
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