Defend Your Peace — Not Your Position | #171
What if instead of defending yourself, you defended your peace? In Daily Dose of Dawn #171, resilience coach Dawn Super speaks to the person who fought hard to find their voice — who grew up bullied, unheard, and without power — and who now sometimes pays for their strong sense of justice with a disregulated nervous system. This dose reframes what real power looks like: not striking first, not winning the argument, but staying so calm and grounded that nothing can pull you out of your peace. Because whoever it is — we don't do parlor tricks for love.
Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below
Instead of defending yourself or your position, defend your peace.
This dose is specifically for people who endured a lot before this moment. Picked on or bullied when you were a child, not having a voice in your house. You really had to grow up defending yourself. You're now a champion of the underdog. and look out for the little guy. And it's part of who you are to stick up for what is right, what is just, and what is fair. That was hard earned. And you have power now that you didn't then. And it can be easy to feel like power is the only way.
If all that sounds like you, or you just want to start thinking about the thinking wrapped around this topic, welcome in to your daily dose of Dawn at Dawn - videos designed to expand your thinking.
Peace doesn't care who's right. It doesn't care if they understand what you're trying to explain to them. This alone becomes a form of protection.
So, how does that work? If we're going to feel our feels but keep our feet out of the fire, we can take the fire out of our emotions and look at them objectively. Emotional regulation is power. Staying calm, no drama is power. They call it zero giving zero fs, right? While still having proper empathy. That's a superpower.
So how do we do that? By realizing that peace is always the primary objective.
Let's take for example someone says something that could be considered offensive. Would be considered offensive. is without a doubt considered offensive. Old me was strike first and think later. Because I was bullied for seven long years and I endured relationships that were very unfair, I had a strong sense of justice and I paid for that with a disregulated immune system.
Do you know what happens when your nervous system is disregulated? It pauses healing in the immune system. And me, I had a lot of anger for various reasons. I have a lot of videos on overcoming anger on this channel, including rules that I created for arguing that help me argue more effectively and not need to crash out nap afterwards.
So, I was in Scrappy Doo mode and it was as ugly as it was back then. So, if being disregulated means you're hurting yourself and being regulated means you're helping yourself, then not giving a hootie and the blowfish about someone trying to offend you means - you win.
Does that mean you stand there and let people say insulting things to you? No, Becky, you leave. And you teach yourself how to leave the fire also.
This is a lot easier if we don't care about the person who's insulted us. But if we do care about the person who's insulted us, we need to frame it in a way that takes the fire off of our feet. If you imagine the person who came up to you being two and a half or three years old and coming up and calling you a loser, that has a lot less weight to it than if it's your 57 year-old Uncle Joe.
So the key is to train your nervous system to hear things like that as if they were coming from a toddler who doesn't know better so that you don't take them personally and you leave the feels there with the relationship. cuz you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who calls you a loser.
So use your emotional intelligence to remove yourself from the situation, Donna, because whoever it is, we don't do parlor tricks for love.
Keep thinking about these things as you go through life. It's how we grow. Do you have something that's worked for you to help you in holding your own hand to regulate your feels while people are coming at you? because those are the kind of secrets we really need to be sharing with each other. And if you have them, I'd love to read them in the comments.
If you're watching this on the blog, you can touch the YouTube logo. It'll take you to the channel. And if you're logged in, you can comment right there on the video.
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