Stop Stepping on Yourself to Get to Everyone Else | #168

If you don't learn how to put yourself first, you'll spend the rest of your life stepping on yourself to get to everyone else. In Daily Dose of Dawn #168, resilience coach Dawn Super speaks to the person who is just beginning to understand that self-care really is healthcare — but who still isn't sure how to put themselves first without feeling selfish or egotistical. This dose breaks down why it's so hard, what's really driving it, and how rebuilding from the inside out is the thing that finally makes it stop mattering what everyone else thinks.

Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below

If you don't learn how to put yourself first, you're going to be stepping on yourself - to get to them - for the rest of your life.

This dose is for someone who has learning to put themselves first on their to-do list. Up until fairly recently, putting yourself first felt selfish for some reason. But now you're starting to understand that self-care really is healthcare and you want to learn how do you do that. How do you put yourself first without seeming like an egoic narcissist?

If that sounds like you, welcome in to your daily dose of Dawn at Dawn videos designed to expand your thinking.

So why do we want to think about this? because you can go an entire lifetime without ever understanding what the phrase "put yourself first" even means. And if that's the case, Beth, it's probably been a lot harder for you to put yourself first.

Okay. So, what kind of people struggle to put themselves first? Moms, right? And maybe if you're married, you're putting your spouse first. If you have parents that you're still trying to impress, you're putting their needs ahead of your own. Essentially, you have an external locus of control. And what other people think about you is more important than what you think about you. And if that weren't the case, it would be a lot easier to put yourself first.

So when you're sleep deprived, chronically ill, in pain, or had trauma in your past, it affects the way that you perceive everything. And it's easier to believe someone will leave you if you don't do the thing, or someone won't like you if you don't do the thing, or they'll say you're lazy, or you're not trying hard enough, or some other label. And I don't know about you, but I spent way too much of my life trying to prove to other people that I wasn't any of those things and ended up hurting myself in the process.

So, in order to become a reformed people pleaser, I had to look at what people pleasing things I was doing. Do you even know if you're people pleasing or if you're just being helpful? It can be really hard to separate ourselves from what other people are doing.

I've had several people tell me that my book and my work reminds them of Mel Robbins, the speaker. She wrote a book called Let Them. If people want to do something, let them do it. I agree with that completely. I wanted to know what the difference was and I haven't read Mel's book. So I gave my book to artificial intelligence and I asked it to compare my book to Mel Robbins book.

So how is this relevant to what I'm talking about? Because Mel Robbins book helps you deal with what other people do. You are processing, thinking, metacognition, about your thinking, about what other people are doing. My book is a 14-day self-love boot camp where you rebuild yourself from the inside out. Which means once you successfully complete my book and get on your own side, you don't care what other people are doing anymore.

If that sounds like something that you need in your life, you can grab it at howtobeonyourownside.com. And if you're not ready for the 14-day self-love boot camp, you can just listen to the doses. I publish them weekdays. They're going to get you thinking about your thinking and help you change your tomorrow.

If you can't afford my book, I want to give it to you for free. I'm not kidding. Just email me, Dawn at DawnSuper dot com. I've got a link. You fill in your info, I send you my book, 14 Days, Change Your Life.

GET MY BOOK FOR FREE HERE: https://dawnsuper.com/happybirthday

You can still help yourself to 50% off on all of my magnets at happymatters.guru. Just use coupon code:

SPRING50

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