5 Rules for Arguing That Will Actually Help You Stop Being So Angry | #164

ANGER is only one letter short of DANGER — and if you've ever walked away from an argument wondering how it got so out of hand so fast, this dose is for you. In Daily Dose of Dawn #164, resilience coach Dawn Super shares her five personal rules for arguing — the exact framework she used to pull herself out of flash-in-the-pan rage that once threatened to cost her everything. If you already know anger is your thing and you're ready to actually do something about it, these rules are your starting point.

Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below

Five rules for arguing because ANGER is only one letter short of DANGER.

Okay, this very specific dose is for the person who already noticed they have trouble with anger. I'm going to drill it down a bit here. You're facing a lot of challenges that make it harder to regulate your emotions. And you often don't notice you're madder than the situation calls for until after the fact. You find it hard to switch away from anger once you're angry, possibly needing to sleep to be able to let it go. It often feels like your anger is beyond your control. You still wrestle with understanding that other people triggering you is not a legit reason to be angry. You're ready to try some new strategies to get on top of it once and for all.

And if all of that resonates for you, welcome in to your daily dose of Dawn of Dawn videos designed to expand your thinking.

So, why do we want to think about this? Honestly, I never thought I could do anything about my anger. I justified it. I blamed my narcolepsy, my past, my parents. Yesterday, I shared the quote, "Unless you're capable of great violence, you're not peaceful. You're only harmless." This dose is going to help you get on the path to choosing to be more peaceful. This is a choice, a conscious one.

Make friends with your anger. learn to move through it and then use it like the warning light it's meant to be and not the flames you burn yourself alive with.

Today I'm going to share with you my five personal rules that help me pull myself out of a punitive, raged-filled, flash in the pan anger that once threatened to ruin everything. And it's fun to me that I just realized today that five rules looks like stop. And that helps you stop being angry these rules among some other strategies that I share with you in each of these doses. And I customize for my one-on-one clients. They help me overcome anger during arguments, improve my relationships, lower my cortisol levels, and make me a whole lot more fun to be around. And they can do that for you, too.

So, listen to them, understand the mechanism behind them, and then put that through the YOU filter and come up with your own take on them so they'll be easier for you to remember. You can find these rules in writing in the dose for today at DailyDoseOfDawn.com.

It's number 164 to find it. Yeah, if you want to go copy paste them later, then you can write over them and really make them your own if you want to. I highly recommend doing that. Together, we all win. Take my framework and run with it.

I'm not a doctor or a mental health professional. This is not to be considered medical advice in any way, but if you follow these rules, you may find that they help you.

The first rule is establish how mad you are. Like, are you just irritated? Are you off the charts angry? Sometimes just asking yourself the question, how mad am I? Mindfulness helps you regulate.

Second rule is ask yourself why are you mad? Are you mad because what happened was messed up or are you mad because you haven't eaten or because you need a nap? Taking the time to evaluate that helps dispel the anger.

Also, number three, know yourself and be on your own side. Sometimes we have accept defeat in an argument to keep the peace or to prevent something icky from happening. That will end up making you resentful. And anger plus resentful is not a good combination. So when you realize you resent someone, do not be afraid to let them go and choose peace no matter who it is.

Number five, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? The truth of the matter is being right does not get you any benefit. You don't get a cookie or a gold star or anything. And sometimes letting yourself be wrong or even just giving in to whatever it is that so that the other person and you can both be happy is the best thing that you can do. If you love the person and you want a peaceful life, that's sometimes the best way to go about it. And ask yourself, is this really the hill you want to die on? really weigh out the gravity of what you're dealing with.

Stress and all kinds of other things can really get in our head and they make us more angry than what is actually reasonable if we weren't stressed, sick, or broke. Other things happening in our lives outside of who we're dealing with in that moment can also make us take our anger out on other people.

So, if you take yourself through these five rules as soon as you remember to after an argument starts, it will help you regulate faster. And don't take my word for it. Try it out yourself.

If you want to copy paste, just go to Daily Dose of Dawn dot com. And you can also sign up for delivery weekdays if you want to. You can get the dose delivered via email or text so that you never miss an episode.

Ready to go deeper? The Happy Matters magnet series is packed with the "cheat codes" I wish I'd had sooner — grab yours and keep them somewhere you'll actually see them every day.

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