If They Wanted To, They Would | Stop Making Excuses for Them | #137
What does “If they wanted to, they would” really mean? In this Daily Dose, resilience coach Dawn Super explores how making excuses for others can lower your standards, create self-doubt, and keep your life on hold. This powerful mindset shift applies to dating, friendships, family, and everyday relationships.
Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below
If they wanted to, they would.
This video is for anyone waiting for someone to respond faster, to show up for you, or to do what they said they were going to do.
This is the Daily Dose of Dawn at Dawn, videos designed to expand your thinking.
So, why do we want to think about this? Because making excuses for people puts your life on hold. It can have you doubting yourself and opens you up to lowering your standards.
Welcome back to my Happy Matters Collective. If you're new here, thanks for joining us and take on these hard things so that we can bring more happy into our lives.
Being a romantic Pisces, I've spent a lot of time filling in the gaps for people.
So, what does that look like in real life?
Someone's looking at you like you are the best thing since sliced bread, but they don't say anything. So, you imagine what they're thinking or feeling.
So for a good portion of my adult life, I was anxious avoidant attachment style, which made me a little bit skittish. And it took me a lot to understand the simple magic of “if they wanted to, they would.”
This was kind of hammered home for me back in 2004 from the book He's Just Not That Into You.
And this isn't just about dating. It's about friends, your parents, your children, your neighbors.
If they wanted to text you back, to reach out, to plan something, to show up, to be down for it, to get together… they would.
I'm not talking about the now and again people in your life. I mean, everybody gets busy.
I'm telling you, people show you how they feel about you by the way that they treat you.
So really, this is just a moment for you to look around your life and ask yourself, am I waiting for someone to do something before I can move forward?
And if you are, stop waiting.
If it's not a heck yes, it's a feck no.
If you’re tired of filling in the gaps for others, my book How to Be on Your Own Side will help you shift out of reacting and into responding.
In just 14 days, you’ll feel steadier, clearer, and far less willing to shrink yourself for someone who isn’t showing up.
Stop waiting.
Start choosing you.
