Defeat Toxic Positivity (With a Clear Definition) | #102

Toxic positivity is one of those terms that gets thrown around without a clear definition—often leaving people more confused than helped. In this Daily Dose, Dawn Super breaks toxic positivity down into its simplest form: feeling dismissed or discounted when you’re looking for empathy. This episode explains what toxic positivity actually is, what it isn’t, and how understanding the difference can help you stop taking emotional invalidation personally. When you master your inner ecosystem, you gain personal power—and that power helps you move from surviving, to coping, to your own version of thriving.

Watch the Video Here or Read the Script below

Are you ready to defeat toxic positivity once and for all?

This video is for anyone who's concerned about toxic positivity, who has a deep reaction to it or just simply doesn't even understand what it is.

Why do we want to learn this? Because when you master your emotions, your inner ecosystem, no matter what someone else is saying or doing, it gives you immense personal power. And that helps you take yourself from surviving to coping to your version of thriving.

Welcome back to my happy matters collective. If you're new here, thanks for giving us a try.

So broken down into its simplest form, toxic positivity occurs when you feel dismissed or discounted by the way someone is responding to you. That's it.

No item, no conversation, no statement solely on its own can be toxic. Someone shared a meme that said good vibes only and called the meme toxic positivity. And that's impossible. It may feel toxic to them but inspiring to someone else.

So if you're lamenting about your struggle and then someone sends you that meme in response, that's toxic. Why? because you shared something about your situation, looking for empathy, understanding, or whatever, and they replied with a meme that said, "Good vibes only," which essentially is like, "Be quiet. Don't talk about your burdens."

Then you feel dismissed in that situation. That's what makes it toxic. That's it.

And here's the thing. If someone is exhibiting toxic positivity, you don't want them in your life anyway and you're already struggling. If you're bringing it to someone else, looking for empathy or understanding, and they dismiss you, dismiss them. They're no longer to be considered a source of anything. They're not a confidante in your story. Period.

If we keep giving access to us to someone who dismisses us, we're essentially dismissing ourselves.

The sooner you come to accept that every feeling you ever had was created inside of you by you, the sooner you can feel their dismissal for what it really is. your body telling you this person is not safe for me. Don't ignore it. See it for exactly what it is. The other person's inability to give you proper empathy for your circumstances. That's it.

Does this make them a bad person? No. It just makes them incapable.

I always like to use extreme examples. If the person had obvious developmental disabilities, it would be easy to say they don't know better. If they had legs that didn't work, you wouldn't take it personally if they didn't stand up.

If you see any interaction where people are falling short as simply them not being able to do the thing you want them to do, you teach yourself to stop taking it personally. And you find strength inside of you that no one could ever hand you.

Positivity is not throwing confetti or denying your reality. It's having your own back, bringing in helper feels of gratitude and compassion. It helps you hold your hands through your struggles.

So, when you say, "You got this to yourself, even when you're not really sure if you do, that's encouragement, not toxicity.

Toxic positivity with yourself sounds like: this is fine... while you're burning to the ground. "This sucks, but I'll find my way through it," is not toxic.

Please don't ever let a pop psychology term keep you from encouraging yourself. Get on your own side and stay there.

Both my parents died without ever really understanding narcolepsy or how much it affects me. Why? Because they had their own things they were dealing with. And they just didn't have the capacity to understand.

And when you go through something like that, you can either let it crush you or you can let it make you more understanding. And only one of those paths leads to thriving. So choose wisely.

Need to go deeper into this topic? Check out Dose 10 below. Avoiding toxic people with good boundaries.

Wanna go deeper? Check this one out:

Go through How To Be On Your Own Side with Dawn!

Coming soon!

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