Dose 15 People Pleasing
“Don't be a doormat.” - Dawn Super
How I stopped people-pleasing – Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn # 15
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This the end of the third week of the Daily Dose of Dawn at dawn – are you loving this? Are you following along?
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My hope is that some things have hit home for you...
That something came just when you needed to hear it…
That you felt like I was talking about you instead of to you…
Thank you for being here.
OK – people-pleasing. Do you do it? Are you working on not doing it?
Here’s now-me’s perspective on people-pleasing…
The biggest reason people do not use boundaries is because they’re afraid of the way the other person will react.
For me, it was the same with people-pleasing. I felt like I needed to do the things so the people wouldn’t leave… yeah that’s what anxious avoidant attachment can do to you.
The good news is, you can practice. You can try things, strategies, to overcome it. That’s what I did. It took a fricken year, but I did it.
I go into this way deeper in my coaching but one perspective that should help you right away is asking yourself…
Am I doing this because I want to? Or am I doing this thing because I’m afraid they’ll (leave, break up with me, get mad at me, cause a problem) if I don’t?
If I looked at it and realized I was afraid, I would ask myself – is that true? Would they (leave, break up, get mad) if I don’t do this thing for them?
Admitting to myself that it wasn’t true - they would NOT break up or get mad if I told them, “No,” I wouldn’t do the thing… made it a lot easier for me to NOT do the thing.
Admitting to myself they would leave, get mad, break up if I didn’t do the thing… helped me let them GO.
Reading personal growth stuff like this and doing all this work helps you feel better about yourself. When you feel better about yourself, you feel better inside of yourself.
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